Who said Girls have all the fun!

I know... last week I talked extensively about multiple consecutive orgasms for women as pointed out to me from this email ...

Dear Nikki,
You think you said Multiple Consecutive Orgasms enough times in one paragraph in your last blog entry? I mean I wasn't offended. As a guy I would love nothing more then to get my partner off over and over again. But come on!!!
Other then that enjoy reading your blog entries keep up the good work.
Reggie

Well thank you Reggie I try my best and your right. Once I get on a roll about Multiple Consecutive Orgasms it is hard for me not to think about Multiple Consec... okay sorry I get it. Stopping now. So I decided to talk all about guys this blog topic.

Let's talk about the Male G-Spot shall we?

Oh quit being a little girl!

What I am talking about here folks is what some men really don't like to talk about. That is their Prostate Gland. Located in between their rectum and testis just below the clinical term called the peritoneum or as men call it in slang "the taint".  And "why" you may ask do they not like to talk about it? Because of it's actual location. To REALLY massage it well some men have hangs ups about it. Because of societies ignorance, in my opinion, some men (especially straight men) think if anything remotely goes near their ass much let touches their anus they think they will be labeled gay or thought less of as a man. 

Trust me on this.. I have done enough research, polls and spoke with a lot of male friends who know they can speak openly enough to me and not be judged to let me know this is truly how they feel society will judge them. And what a sad sad world we live in for these men to miss out on what I can only imagine a wonderful experience.

As we learned in the previous blog about the whole science of sex we know what happens when a male has an orgasm. But what exactly does the prostate do?  The prostate makes a fluid that activates sperm as they are being ejaculated. So it has a pretty important job. Along with that job comes LOTS AND LOTS of nerve endings. Just like a woman's Grafenberg spot or G-spot. Thus the reason to call it a male G-spot. Now like a woman's G-spot we know it is all elusive and some women don't even know where their own is located much less telling their partner where it is. With men it isn't so hard. It is a small chestnut-sized bump situated approximately two inches inward and down towards the testis. Now I know from personal experience when I have a G-spot orgasm that is usually when I have that mind blowing, spectacular Multi... opps sorry almost drifted of there ....

I know.. I know... sorry Reggie

But you see where I'm going with this. If our G-spot orgasms are that amazing why can't it be just that amazing for men? And ya know what? I have actually talked to men who were not afraid to be labled and have done it and agreed with me that yes... yes indeed it is that amazing!

So when your ready and are comfortable with a partner I will give you a few tips that will help you ease into this a bit.... 

Just Kidding guys ... Just kidding! Geez Calm down!!!

Okay Okay I get it!

I'm not talking about having your partner strap one on and go to town I am talking about first learning your body. Just because a G-spot on a guy is easier to find then a woman doesn't mean we are all the same. As I said in my previous blog the biggest sex organ in the body is your brain. It all starts with arousal. Trust. Communication. Start with just massaging the "taint" area with some lube while you kiss and explore. Massage it, put a little pressure on it. If he starts to moan... well it's okay to like it. Maybe just start with that then move up to massaging just outside the anus along with the "taint" next time. This will help him to become more relaxed and more receptive to the idea. Remember before you decide to let your partner explore internally there are a couple of things you may want to do. The minimum preparation is a regular bowel movement followed by a complete external cleansing. You may even want to use some liquid soap and cleanse just inside a bit and rinse thoroughly. We will only be exploring a couple of inches in.. not a deep sea diving expedition.

If you are really feeling self conscience about it you can rinse internally but most experts do not suggest anything over a disposable bulb enema with plain warm water. Insert and gently squeeze allowing the water to rinse out. Repeat several times, or until the water runs clear. Never ever ever use hot or cold water.. your gonna want to be Goldilocks on this one and be JUUUUUUST right. About wrist temperature will be fine. You are not going to want to do anything larger then a bulb. Anything bigger can constitute a colonic and you don't want that before someone starts inserting things in there with all that cramping and blotting. If that is truly the route you want to go seek a professional. After that is done make sure you have your lube available. I suggest the silicone lube, Make sure you have latex or vinyl gloves or if your partner decides to "ride you bareback" sort of speak make sure their nails are trimmed, you don't want to have a hang nail and have it rip some tissue while in there. Once your comfortable have them again massage the "taint" area then press gently on the anus with your lubricated finger. Once they have their "one" finger in locate the Prostate about 2 inches in from the entrance of the anus. Once located tell your partner what feels good and what doesn't. Take your time.. do it slow and easy... let the body accept the finger. Later as you become more comfortable you can try a couple of beads or plugs. Which of course can be purchased at my website.

Once you find someone you trust and can relax with it won't be so difficult and who knows you just may find out you like it!

Don't forget to take the poll over to the left, subscribe, leave a comment, visit my website for tools and LUBE! 

What a Big Sex Organ you have!

Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and an Orgasm EVERY time you have sex! Okay maybe I lie. But the later part of this statement does not have to be true. I read that 30 percent of women have issues reaching orgasm.

I know Bert! It is a startling statistic but it is true!

 For whatever reason this may be we can touch on that issue at a later time. 

What I want to point out in this blog is the science behind this wonderfully delicious event that happens when we 'get off' on this action in life.

First credit where credit is due. You can see the video I watched that these screen prints came from here.

There are four states to sexual arousal. Or at least there should be... I have had some partners who didn't even know the word foreplay much less performed it. Don't these guys know that if your partner is happy they are going to want to make you REALLY happy? And if your partner is REALLY happy they will not tell other people just how disappointing you were. And trust me if that gets out your sunk.

When focused on and performed correctly however these four stages are Excitement, Plateau of Arousal, Orgasm and Resolution.

Excitement can stem from anywhere. It can be a soft kiss, suggestion, look or touch. Again it all starts in the mind. The biggest sex organ of them all. And no I don't care how big your Cock is... I still know this to be true. Ya don't believe me, try not using it. I guarantee you won't get anywhere without it.

During Plateau of Arousal your body starts to kick into action. Blood starts to flow to your genitals and your heart rate and breathing increases. 

*HINT - Listen to her guys... her panting and moaning are clear indications your doing something right 

At this point your Central Nervous System is fully engaged and sending delightful signals of enjoyment to the reward center of your brain... and why not?! You work hard... both of you deserve a reward! Now the longer you continue this performance the more your receptors will continue to stimulate your brain and so and so forth until you achieve orgasm. Now hopefully you achieve it together but if not, no worries, you can still continue to help your partner to achieve what you both have started. As I said you both work hard you both deserve it. You can also use romance enhancers such as enhancement creams, heating lubricants and toys to help either of you with achieving your crowning glory.

Now I think we all know what happens during orgasm but if you are brand new to all this or are not sure that you have ever had an orgasm before...

Don't laugh I have actually talked with people who have asked ... seriously.

For Men it can last anywhere on average from 3-10 seconds and includes contractions of the anal sphincter the prostate gland (or the male G-spot<again another blog) and the penis muscle. It also usually proceeds with the release of sperm known as ejaculation but depending on the rate at which this has happened it is not always the case. After a male orgasm it is followed by a refractory period. What is this you ask? Well I will tell. You may know it as... OMG I am spent .. can we not cuddle and while your at it could you make me a sandwich and wake me up in about an hour.. Syndrome. It is during this time,ranging from minutes to hours for some men, where another orgasm cannot be achieved.

For Women we do not have a Refractory Period which allows us to have multiple consecutive orgasms which is nice... really really really nice. During our orgasm our uterus, vagina, pelvic muscles and anus contract. Some women have been known to have been mistaken in having epileptic seizures when this happens. Do not get your the tongue depressors and epi pens out quite yet guys it is a natural occurrence in some women during multiple consecutive orgasms. Most orgasms for women last about 20 seconds but can be much longer if multiple consecutive orgasms are what she experiences. Lucky yes indeed we are and even luckier if we have a partner who knows how to bring it out in us. But not as lucky as the Pig who can have multiple consecutive orgasms for up to 30 minutes!!!

I know! Right?! Lucky ass pig!

But it all starts and finishes in the control or lack of in the Brain. Here is where the good Science comes in. Under functional MRI it is discovered that the brain is flooded with Dopamine which is a feel good chemical that is most times linked to drugs like Heroine or Cocaine.  Dopamine is the chemical that gives you the craving of things that feel good to you. This is in tandem with the release of Oxytocin.. not be confused with Oxycontin. Oxytocin is a hormone that plays a role in bonding, trust and maternal instincts. This is why a lot of OB/GYN's suggest love making during postpartum depression.

Pet Scans taken during an orgasm has shown that during an orgasm it is the SAME for men and women. The lateral orbitofrontal cortex shuts down which is the determining factor for self evaluation, reason, self control, fear and anxiety... which explains a lot when I see these women go nuts at a Chippendale convention. I never understood why these women would scream, hoot and holler. Don't get me wrong, I do certainly like what I see. They are pretty to look at. But the main reason I go is to get a chuckle out of those women  who almost faint in excitement. Anyhoodle, let's continue shall we?

The relaxation of the Amygdala and Hippocampus lower emotion in women (another reason to get your women off Men!) causing an almost trance like state and also lower aggression in men. The only real difference between men and women in the Brain during an orgasm is many areas of a womans brain are shut down COMPLETELY and in Men it isn't as striking probably due to the shorter duration and refractory period. The Periaqueductal Gray or PAG  is also activated much more in women which stimulates the flight or fight response along with the Cebreal Cortex which is associated with pain receptors. 

Hmmmm I wonder if that is why I like my hair pulled or spanked sometimes.... 

I always have said there is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Now I know why!

 Yes indeed Science is Sexy !!

I hope that explains a bit more of what happens to us physically above and beyond what we can feel to all of you reading this. I just think the more we understand the better we can become at expressing what we like and want from our partners.  If we know how our bodies and minds react it give a clearer indication overall of what is truly going on. 

Remember to check out my store. The link is to the right. 

Please leave your comments and be sure to take this weeks poll over to the left. If there is something you would like me to research please do not hesitate to ask.

Now go out and have some wonderful Sex ya'll!

The Low Down on Lube

I was walking down the isle of my favorite drug store the other day and realized that there are a lot of different types of lubes out there on the market today.  We really have come pretty far since I was a youngster and wondering why my mother and father for that matter had a HUGE jar of Vasoline next to their bedside table. I thought as I got a bit older “Why do they need it on both night stands?” –Shrug, O-well.

So as promised I will be going over the different types of lubes on the market today. What they are good for, texture, aftermath factor, overall price which to choose and why. 

So let’s get slickery shall we and slidddde on into the topic….

Water-Based Lube

This is the most common lube on the market and is compatible with all of your toys no matter what the material type. It is the most budget friendly of all that I will be talking about as well. All lubes in this category, including the flavored lubes, are condom friendly. No risk in breakdown. They are smooth and slick but most contain a propylene glycol which can be irritating to some women and cause yeast infection if prolonged use. They are water-soluble which means the skin and mucous membranes in the vagina or anus will absorb them quickly so several applications will need to be made for any marathon sessions. Since it is water-soluble clean-up is a breeze, just rinse and go.

IN SUMMARY

*Budget friendly
*Wide Variety Including Flavored
*Toy and Condom Friendly
*Clean up easy

Silicone Based Lubricants

This lube is much more slippery and last much longer and is non-irritating. It is not water-soluble which means this is great for water play and no I don’t mean Golden Showers… or maybe if your into that type of thing. Since they are thinner and not water-soluble a little goes a long way. It is a good thing too because even a small bottle of this precious liquid can be quite costly. So if your cat decides to climb up on the bedside table and become a voyeur in your marathon love making session, make sure you put the lid on it. Nothing is worse than stopping mid-orgasm because your 1.7 oz,$20.00 bottle of  lube is slowly dripping down the side of your nightstand because your cat decided that watching you was as about as exciting as watching paint dry. But I digress….

Not being water soluble also means that clean up isn’t as easy. An extra towel maybe nice when using this type of lube and a shower is most definitely going to be needed afterwards. Another down side to silicone lubes is they do not play well with silicone toys. They are safe on latex however.

IN SUMMARY

*Priciest of all the lube categories
*Condom Friendly
*Toy friendly UNLESS IT IS MADE OF SILICONE *so Silicone to Silicone NO GOOD THIS IS
*Great Water play lube
*Can be a bit messy and hard to clean up

Oil Based Lubes

JUST DON’T USE THEM PERIOD! Okay that was a little harsh but let me explain. Oil lubes will corrode latex so they are not condom safe. They are also REALLY bad for a vagina and anus as they help breed bacteria. So I REALLLLLLLLY hope my parents used that Vaseline to soften their feet at night.  Baby oil, Vaseline, Crisco, Body Lotions these are all oil based. Although they last a while in viscosity they should really only be used for body massages and MAYBE a happy ending for the guy if ya want. Above and beyond that DON’T USE IT!

IN SUMMARY

*JUST DON’T USE IT!

Well those are your basics… I could go into all the other types of other ones out there like Edible Lubes (water based mostly). Spermicidal Lubes (usually water-based) have a main chemical of nonoxynol 9 or N-9 which helps immobilize sperm. Down side in order to be effective a woman has to insert it 10-15 min before having sexual intercourse.                            Yaaawwwwnnnnn....

 Yeah my thoughts exactly sister. 

There is a Hybrid Lube that is a mix between Water and Silicone that people are leaning more towards because it isn’t as pricey as the pure Silicone but overall the same rules apply as the Silicone.

Warming Lubes (mostly water based) can be alright just make sure you read the label before placing anywhere near the vaginal area especially if they are flavored. They may contain higher amounts of glycol which means higher chance of yeast infection. But again GREAT for massages. 

Warming, tingling , desensitizing and shrink lubes fall more under the enhancement category although they CAN be used as lube.  However!!! I will not condone desensitizing cream for anything other then putting on an erection before you place a condom on. This will keep your Johnson at bay and the desensitizing cream from your woman’s lady parts so she will not become desensitized… Gawd knows we need all the stimulation we can get! Am I right? Can I get a witness!

As for using it on women…. Well I only advise desensitizing cream for women for plucking of eyebrows, getting a Brazilian wax or if you are getting a tattoo of some sort. Other than that no other reason. Ladies or Gentleman (we will discuss anal play with you guys at a later blog) if you use it for Anal play I will release the hounds of hell on you.  Okay maybe…

But let me tell you this. Pain is there for a reason. If you are trying anal sex for the first time and you need a desensitizing cream then you’re not doing it right. You haven’t stretched enough or you’re going too fast. For whatever the reason LISTEN TO YOUR BODY and your partner. If you use desensitizing cream and he is tearing tissue in there it could really do some damage you would never know it. Same for the guys.

And Shrink Cream!!!!! For ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG WITH THE WORLD

 NOOOOOOOOOOO

Ladies! If you don’t feel like your all that tight down there anymore for WHATEVER reason please please please please please do not fall prey to the advertisements of shrink cream or Chinese shrink cream. The number one ingredient in this product is Alum! It is a known FACT that 1 ounce of this stuff ingested could kill a full grown adult! What it does is takes all the water out of the cells so the tissue swells causing shrinkage. It is not permanent and there have been no studies on the effects to a woman’s vaginal walls or cervix. But it cannot be good at all.
So Ladies you want things to be tighter and in tip top shape down there? Exercise. And you can even do it with weights called Ben Wah Balls and Kegel exercises … there is even an APP FOR THAT! That is right Folks. It is called Kegel Camp click here to get it. It is for the best exercise for both men and women to do in order to have better sex and strengthen that old PC muscle.

Well I hope we have learned a little bit today and don’t forget to take the poll over on the left hand side.

Leave your comments and feed back if you will or let me know what you think by emailing me at mppbynikki@gmail.com. And visit my website at www.mypurepleasure.com/1104. While your there purchase some nice lube.

Happy Sex ya’ll !

Silicone! Cyberskin! and Latex Oh MY!!

With so many sex toys out there and things that can help to enhance our sexual experience in and sometimes out of the bedroom <wink wink> it can be difficult to understand all the different types of material it takes to make up these wonderfully delicious sex toys.

This week I am going to break down and give you the low down on all the materials that make up these divine products. I will also discuss the differences and how to care for them and store them as well. 

So let’s get started shall we?

Silicone 

Silicone is soft and lifelike, it is hypoallergenic, warms up quickly to body temperature, non-porous and so is easy to clean and can even be boiled for sterilization (that is of course if the toy is water proof and if not if there are no electronic devices in it). Unlike jelly rubber and other porous materials, silicone can be sterilized in temperatures up to 300 °C (572 °F). In addition, it can be bleached in a 10% bleach solution. When using lubricants with silicone sex toys it is important that silicone or silicone-based lubricants are not used to avoid damage to the toy so in a likely matter do not store Silicone toys together unless you want melted toy. There are different grades of silicone; it is preferable that medical-grade silicone be used for sex toys. Cheaper silicone products may use industrial-grade silicone. Because of the material does not come cheap these toys are usually more expensive.

IN SUMMARY:
*Hypoallergenic
*Non-porous can be boiled for sterilization if waterproof
*Water based Lubricants only
*Store individually away from other toys they are diva’s and don’t play nice
*Does not contain phthalates
*Costly

Cyberskin /TPE or TPR/ UR3/Soft Touch/ Futurotic/ and Neoskin

CyberSkin is a ThermoPlastic Elastomer or ThermalPlastic Rubber and is a close emulation of real skin. CyberSkin is made from ingredients on FDA approved lists and it does not contain phthalates, polyvinyl chloride (PVC), heavy metals or latex which means it is hypoallergenic as well. These are great for people who are sensitive to certain chemicals and latex. It is slightly porous which means it can still hold bacteria if not clean properly with toy cleaner and is not susceptible to higher temperatures like Silicone. So if you are going to share your toy consider using a condom. It is easy to clean and maintain by using toy cleaner and patting dry. Water based lubricants are best and they should be stored in a dry place.

IN SUMMARY:

*Hypoallergenic
*Porous material so use condom if shared
*Water or Silicone/Water Hybrid Recommended but Silicone can be used IF you have nothing else.  Just cleanse thoroughly when done
*Store in dry place
*Does not contain phthalates
*Usually not as costly as Silicone but still pricer

 

 

Latex rubber/PVC/Jelly Rubber

Latex rubber, also called jelly rubber, is commonly used for sex toys; it is a flexible and inexpensive material allowing the user more options in size and look. It is water-resistant and less liable to tear the it’s aforementioned counterparts making them extremely durable.  While latex is commonly used and less expensive than materials such as silicone, glass and CyberSkin, it can cause a reaction to some people with latex allergy. Latex is porous and should be cleaned thoroughly with toy cleaner and a condom to be used if shared with other people. Some rubber toys contain phthalates which are used to soften rubber, but certain studies have shown that exposure to phthalates can have negative affect your respiratory system, cause cancer, and lead to liver problems. However, there are also studies that do not show conclusive evidence between the link of phthalates and certain medical conditions. As of now, phthalates are still legal by the FDA, and is used in sex toys as it is cost effective to manufacturers, making toys with phthalates cheaper to the consumer. Water and silicone-based lubricants can be used with latex toys. These toys are very porous and susceptible to bacteria. Make sure you clean thoroughly with toy cleaner and it is not advisable to share but they are cheap enough you can have one for a guest anyway.

IN SUMMARY
*Non Hypoallergenic
*Porous material not advisable for sharing
*Any type of Lube will work except Oil based lube… Lube discussion will be next week
*Can be stored with other Latex Rubber/PVC/Jelly Rubber Toys in chest or drawer
*Some may contain phthalates check with your Romance Sexpert Education Consultant or Adult shop Representative. Key is if you’re worried about it and they are unsure and cannot get a clear answer from the manufacturer buy something different.
*Best to buy on a budget

Hard Plastic

Hard Plastic Sex Toys are phthalate free, hypoallergenic, and are non-porous, which makes these products easy to clean.The drawback of the Hard Plastic Toys is comfort, potentially breakage if dropped, and non-realistic feel. Many of the hard plastic vibrators are powerful, as the lack of the soft texture in the hard plastic allows the vibrations to be more powerful. Water-based and silicone based lubricants can be used with the hard plastic toys.

IN SUMMARY
*Hypoallergenic
* Non-porous can be boiled for sterilization if waterproof
* Any type of Lube will work except Oil based lube… Again lube discussion will be next week
* Can be stored anywhere with anything.
* Does not contain phthalates
* Best to buy even on a College Students budget!

Metal and Glass

Sex toys that are made up of metal or glass are very durable and non-porous, which makes them easy to clean. Many of the dildos (non-vibrating) are made up of glass or metal. These toys are compatible with all types of lubricants and can be boiled for cleaning or cooled to enhance the experience.

IN SUMMARY
*Hypoallergenic
* Non-porous can be boiled for sterilization if waterproof
* Any type of Lube will work except Oil based lube… Again lube discussion will be next week
* Can be stored anywhere with anything. I STORE MY GLASS ONE OUT IN THE OPEN AS DECORATIVE! Shhh don’t tell I get a kick out of people who pick it up and say “Ohhh how pretty! What an unusual piece!”
* Does not contain phthalates
* Some glass toys can get pretty pricey so save your pennies

I have posted pictures of products that personally own and enjoy from my website. Prices are as of today 03/10/2013.

I hope this guide has helped a bit and again I carry all these products and much more at my website! My party is still going on. If you click on my website and when placing your order at the end please place my party number of #328 for me to get a credit. I will be sending a nice surprise to one lucky winner chosen at random out of all the people who buy. Winner to be announced after party is closed on 3/23/2013.

Thanks for subscribing and don’t forget to answer this week’s poll over the left. Please leave your comments and suggestions below. Next week we will cover all these lubes I wrote about in this blog.  

Fetishes

Have you ever caught your partner lingering a little to long on your hands or feet? Longing... almost having a pool of spittle on the floor?

Do you get turned on by your partner in tight clothes showing all the bulges in the right place?

Do you fantasize about your partner in the nude in public?

Or do you think doing it in the car is risky and hot?

Then yes you have a sexual obsession or more commonly referred to by most as a sexual fetish. Although they go hand in hand I would like to point out there is a difference. An obsession being a compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion. A fetish being any object, idea, eliciting unquestioning reverence , respect or devotion to. Whether you realize it or not we all have a sexual obsession and sometimes fetish. Some more prominent then others and certainly some more frowned on by societies standards.

These obsessions are usually harmless and enhance your bedroom desire. The moment they become an overall obsession in your life then this can be an issue and needs medical treatment and/or psycho analysis right away.

In the end sexual fetishes in the bedroom is healthy as long as it adds pleasure to your love making. And remember just because it isn't your fetish doesn't mean your partner doesn't like it. Suck it up.. put your big boy/girl pants on and and deal with it. Because if your partner is happy they will go to great lengths to make you the same.

Don't forget to take the latest poll on Fetishes this week (found on the left side of this page) and check out my website for the latest erotic and romantic products to boost your fetish experiences with your partner or to book your in home or virtual party today to get free products!!

Welcome to my first blog post. First let me introduce myself. My name is Nikki Biggs and I am a My Pure Pleasure Consultant, among other things of course.  I own and operate my own My Pure Pleasure business which is an in-home party plan similar to Mary Kay and Pampered Chef. However, our product line is much more personal then make up and kitchen utensils. We sell relationship enhancements, bath, body, lotions, lingerie, and bedroom accessory products all while educating and empowering women and men alike about their sexuality.

There are a lot of companies out there like ours so what sets ours apart from the others? I used to be a consultant for another rival company that is no longer in business. I then took a couple years off from doing parties all together. When deciding to come out of retirement I did my research and found these consultants to actually care about what they are teaching women, men and couples. Some companies don't even allow men to come to parties much less be consultants. And of course the selection is quite vast. You are not stuck with one size fits all product. There is a lot to choose from and from different lifestyle choices. Haven't tried something? How do you know if you don't try?

I will be posting weekly segments and informational topics on that all taboo subject and look forward to the comments and questions. With blogger you can even post anomalously if you like. I will also be posting links and special hostess incentives and specials on products as they are available.

Thank you for subscribing :)