Longer than the Energizer Bunny!

I was going to name this blog "This is only for the guys" but I thought nope this is for the women as well. 

So here is the scenario. You're out on a date. Everything is going splendidly! He opens the doors for you. Wonderful conversation. Just a hint of flirtation and suggestion. You're looking hot. He is looking hot! You play the cat and mouse all night at the club. You're making out in the cab on the way back to your apartment... you can barely keep your clothes on on the way up to our apartment. You get to the bed and before you know it.. BAM... he is done. 

He is just as embarrassed and assures you that this is never happened before. Trust me.. it has. 

The top question I get from men when they find out I am a sex blogger and intimacy coach is "How do I last longer in bed?"

This blog we are going to address this and get you going longer then the Energizer fricken bunny.

First let's find out just how long is long. Some women can get off in 5 minutes. Especially if you know what it is they like.  Others can go for hours. But on average most women can achieve the Big O within 20 minutes. So when I say last longer I mean 30 minutes at least. 

So my tips and the tips of most the people in my field are these...

Kegel exercises. Yes you will hear me talk and preach about this over and over and over in my blogs. This is because I cannot stress it enough. If you missed the blog I wrote specifically for this you can CLICK HERE. It is titled Boot Camp for your love muscle. 

Kegel exercises will help you have a harder erection and last longer in bed! Not to mention help with over prostate health! Hell it will even help you shoot cum like a porn star!

I know eww.. It is just icing I assure you. I should know my kids are Bronies I've seen the episode.

Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay,Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay,Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay,Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay,Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay .. Oh did I mention Foreplay?

Men if you cannot get your partner off or don't offer to help get them off after you have got yours I promise you they will not be your partner for long. If you triple the foreplay time you are doing now I promise you will have a better success rate of getting your partner off before or the same time you do. 

Too Lazy to try those two things? Selfish Bastard... Fine... here are some other tips and tricks. 

The breathing method. No I don't mean like your doing right now.. Smart ass.. I mean quick shallow breaths. It will help you concentrate on something else besides the feeling of wanting to cum too quickly. It will also help you relax. Tension helps bring on more of an orgasm. Want to know the science behind the orgasm? I did a blog about that as well. Click here to read My what a big sex organ you have!

Masturbate before hand. If you think you have a good chance of getting lucky you may want to think about releasing some of the built up tension before hand. Especially if it has been awhile since you have been with a partner. 

Know what gets you off! If you are the type of partner who likes to start out missionary then pull your partner on top... then reverse cowgirl.. then spooning from the back... Then the double half Nelson with a quarterback flip... then flip your partner over to go doggy and that is all it takes.. You're done. Then doggy style is what gets you off. This means.. if your partner is not close to being ready to hold off doing that style for a bit longer.

The start stop method. This can be and combined with several other tips that I am going to suggest. First, Go Deep and Stay Deep. Penetrate and stop. If your partner is getting close by all means continue but don't pull out so far. Most of men stimulation is in the head and whether you are doing vaginal or anal penetration the most sensitive it will be for you is at the opening where it is the tightest. Second, Pull Out and Squeeze. If your partner is nowhere to being close then pull out and squeeze the tip of your cock. This will help eliminate any sensation of cumming too early. And while you're doing that you may want to consider number Three.. give your partner some oral pleasure while you dulling the sensation. That will get them closer so you don't have to worry about cumming too early. 

Along the lines of knowing what gets you off, DON'T HAVE SEX LIKE YOU MASTURBATE! If you know that you like to spank the monkey like a red headed step child don't have rough sex! It is just that simple.

As a last resort I always suggest a cock ring and or Condoms with desensitizing cream inside of the condom. I have read and heard some experts talk about relaxing and a bit of alcohol to help with that and it also helps to desensitize the nerves. However, I do not encourage that for a few reasons. This is not always an option for people trying to avoid alcohol. If you drink beer and you actually do follow my advice and do oral on women, this is not a good combination for her it promotes yeast infections. 

Overall try and relax. Enjoy yourself and your partner. It isn't about the destination it is about the journey. 

MMMMMMMMMM was it good for you? Let me know by commenting below. Have Questions? Email me at info@foryoursexformation.com

Don't forget to take the poll over to the right. Get your discount for your lube, desensitizing creams and cock rings by letting me know what you would like from My Pure Pleasure website, link to your right. Blog readers get 10% off.  Listen to the blog come alive every Sunday night at 9:00 est on blogtalk Radio, Link at the top. And visit my website at Foryoursexformation.com for all the details. 

It's there in the Kiss.... mmmuuuaaahhhh!

Betty Everatt belted out a song a long time ago call the Shoop Shoop Song or better known as It's in his kiss. The song really regained its popularity when Cher redid the song in her hit movie Mermaids.

I could not begin to disagree with any of the lyrics to that song.  A kiss in my opinion can be the most sensual and alluring part of any relationship. 

Now how women and men look at it are from two different lines of thinking but not always the case. 

A survey of 1,041 college students puts science behind the assumption. Women described kissing as a way to start a relationship and keep it going strong. They see kissing as personal and a way of showing affection outside of sex. Men however, were more likely to see kissing as a prelude to sex. Quite understandably, it can lead to sexual activity, but it should not be expected. What I am trying to educate the masses about in this instance is, Women this doesn't mean you need to tease and then not deliver. And Men you need to learn to kiss a person, without expecting anything further to develop.

With that being said lets move on to the do's and dont's that make this subject matter lip smackingly good.

- First off, stay hydrated. A shortage of fluids can lead to dry mouth which causes bad breath.

Speaking of which, if you eat garlic or onions or any of those other quintessential foods that make your breath like that please make sure your partner has as well. All the mints, teeth and tongue brushing will not help. Unless you have other suggestions please leave them below. I love those foods!

- Know your partner. Kissing is like dancing not everyone is great together. There are different styles and not everyone likes that kind of style. So keep that in mind when you're kissing someone for the first time. 

- Read your partner. Kissing for the first time? Or getting to know your new partner? Start out soft. No tongue.  Your mouth is not a jack-in-the-box. Ergo, every time you open it, your tongue should not automatically pop out. Become attuned to your partner's needs. Are they responsive? Aggressive? Are they hungry for more or less. How long should I kiss? All of those questions can be answered if you just take the time to read your partners body language and needs. They will be there like a book just waiting to be read.

-Marathon kissing. If you are kissing for a short period of time by all means hold your breath but if you plan on kissing any longer than that you need to breathe. Breathe casually and carefully. You don't want to be giving CPR to your partner. If you are not a nose breather try stopping and nibbling and kissing their neck to catch your breath before returning.

-Tingle it up. There are several different lip balms on the market including some that have taste and menthol in them. This will tingle things up for your passionate kiss.

- Swallow. If you are kissing for any period of time or if you decided to put a butt load of mints in your mouth before kissing someone you need to swallow. Extra salivia  isn't always great in a kiss. Especially if you are a tongue kisser. The last thing you need is to be slinging spit all over the place. 

-Use your hands. The use of hands is essential when kissing well. But again requires a little bit of knowledge about your partner. If it is your first time kissing them, you need to be careful. Never assume that because someone accepts a kiss from you, they are giving the green light to touch them more sexually. But touching the face is always a safe place to start and super sexy. 

See what I mean?

-Eyes wide shut. No peeking. Kissing with your eyes open is just creepy. Not to mention it makes your partner self conscious. But then again how does your partner know you have your eyes open if they themselves don't have theirs open.... you see the quandary. Just close them and keep closed. 

All in all please always remember, a kiss is both a gift and thank you. It is one of the few true delights left in our modern rushed society. There is little doubt we'd all be better off if there were more kissing going on. Now, good luck and get busy, someone is probably right this minute waiting for you to kiss them.

MMMMMMMM was it good for you? Let me know by commenting below or emailing me at info@foryoursexformation.com

Remember to fill out next week's poll question to the left. Listen to our live blog cast at blog talk radio on Sunday nights at 9:00 EST, Link above. Also remember to get your tingle lip balm from my website at 10% for my blog readers. Let me know what you would like and I will order it for you and get your discount. Link to the right (My Pure Pleasure)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... wait.. too many to count!

So I read an article the other day about the different types of sex. And I thought... well isn't that really subjective? I mean when you say different types of sex wouldn't you be talking about the physical ways to have sex. 

Like Oral, Vaginal, Anal and Masturbation (<some don't even consider that to be sex, however I do) Heck for that matter I could say Kissing, French Kissing, Mutual Masturbation, Fingering, Fore Play, Non Penetrative Sex and Penetrative Sex could be considered types of sex as well. As I said these are all the physicalities of sex and are all topics that are discussed on whether it is considered sex or not and frankly not the types of sex that I was considering when I read this article. 

So I scoured magazines, books, journals and the web to really get down to the different TYPES of sex and am going to try and combine what I read into a simple to read and condesed variation to everything I read.

So here you have it... my top 10 condensed version of types of sex that will get your heart racing and your sex juices flowing.

#10. The "I'm so bored" Sex

It is Sunday afternoon and I am sitting here after a day of self reflection and going to church... 

Okay stop laughing

Yes. I'm bored. So do I spend the rest of the afternoon blogging and reading? No! I take advantage of the nice quietness and get in "touch" with myself.. 4, 5.. 6.. well who's counting. I really need to start doing toy reviews for my blog readers. Hmmmmm maybe I will do that right now! I'm bored. <wink wink> I also lump Cyber/Sexting and Phone sex in this category as well.

#9 Make up/Break up sex

Makeup or breakup sex is the release of tension created by an argument or a gradually growing situation. It appeals to humankind's masochistic side: the emotional pain of an argument, cured by the high of healing through great sex. 

Nothing is better than to fuel that passion you are channeling then through physical touch and energy. Heck I knew a girl who used to piss her husband off every other day in order to have make up sex. In her opinion it was the hottest. Now they soon got a divorce because that type of energy is not healthy to promote all the time but it is one of the sexiest in my opinion. 

#8 Random Sex/Casual Sex

Awe the NSA sex. The meeting some random partner for a hook up. Connecting through a website or ad on the internet. Not even speaking a word... having hot torrid sex with a random person is super sexy.

 The one night stand is much like gorging yourself at your favorite fast food diner... it feels soooooooooooo good and amazing but you totally regret it when you step on that scale the next day. 

#7 Sexual Tension Sex

You meet someone at your new job. You shake hands and linger just a bit too long. You continue to work side by side. You catch yourself looking at each other a longingly. You both hug each other and catch them smelling your neck or hair as they pull away. You kiss each other cheek goodbye and ALMOST touch lips.

 The sexual tension is so thick you almost and sometimes masturbate on your drive home because you can't take it anymore. Until that one office party where you both drink a little too much and find yourselves in the office supply room going at it on the copy machine.This is the stuff that books and erotic novels are made of. Sexual tension is HOT AND EXPLOSIVE! But just like the fourth of July it only comes once a year and lasts is gone just as quickly. 

#6 Talking Dirty Sex

You're in a quiet bar next to your partner or a friend with benefits. The conversation goes a little something like this...

"Why do you keep staring at me?"

"Because I can't help but wish we were someplace alone right now"

"Why?"

"Because you look so incredibly sexy right now. I would strip you faster than a fully loaded Lexxus in front of a Detroit Crack House"

"Oh Really!?"

"Yes really, then I would slowly lick every inch of your body while you moan in delight"

"Ummmm yes... please continue...."

You get the picture. Just verbally expressing what you want to do with or to someone that you are comfortable with gets thing really going. Especially when you can't really do anything about it. It creates a sexual tension when this happens and you know what happens then... if not see type of sex #7.

#5 It's 5:00 somewhere with friends Sex

We have all been there. The house party to end all house parties. Get the beer, liquor or wine flowing and before you know it Jeff is running naked through the back yard attempting to jump over the bon fire you made and everyone starts singing "Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire" (True story) Then you all go back to kissing the person you were making out with. Before ya know it there is a time limit to the bedrooms and everyone starts looking for an out of the way corner to have sex. The drunker you get and the more your inhibitions start to crash.People are just having sex on the couch...out in the open.. with people watching... 

Excuse me I'm bored... ummm I'll be right back.

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Okay sorry about that... I'm back.. by popular demand. Anyway, some of us lucky ones don't even need alcohol to lose our inhibitions. We have none. This leaves us to deal with no hang over in the morning! But if you do have the pleasure of doing this I highly suggest it but drink lots and lots of water and some alka seltzer BEFORE you GO TO BED. This will help with that hangover in the morning.

#4 Light speed Sex

Long, passionate sex is great but sometimes you just need to take the edge off. <Insert trumpet sound here> In enters the Quickie.

A quickie is like an earthquake. It gets your adrenaline rushing and is over within minutes.. sometimes seconds. It leaves you weak in the knees and breathless. Now it isn't as spectacular for women most times, so this in my opinion is a great gift to your partner. But it can be just as arousing for a woman especially if your partner holds the remote to a remote bullet or butterfly device to get you revved up for the pre game. 

#3 Erotic Full Body Massage Sex

I give this a category all its own. Heck even a full body massage, not even Erotic, can get some people off. Trust me.. I've done it for some people. Much to their embarrassment for most. "OMG, I am so sorry that has never happened before!" .. It's okay. I take it as a compliment really and so should you! If you can connect with someone and let go enough to orgasm through touch outside of your regular erogenous zones KUDOS! Touch is by far my most favorite sense in sex. 

Now whether you are having a massage done by a stranger or by your partner .. Erotic or not it still is one of the hottest ways to orgasm that I know.

#2 Taboo Sex

I can break this down into two categories really. Person and Place.

I was just speaking with a friend earlier this week. He just recently got separated and was trying to figure out what went wrong in their relationship. Why it wasn't like it was in the beginning. So I asked him... What was it like? He said that they would spend hours in a hotel and when it was time to leave he didn't want her to go. They couldn't keep their hands off each other.. it was hot and great sex! 

I said "Wait.. time out... Hotel?" He then confessed that they were both married at the time when they were doing this. *light bulb moment for me* "Well buddy, there is your answer! You were having Taboo Sex!" 

Sex with someone you shouldn't be having sex with for one reason or another is exciting. Now I don't personally agree with what they did together and am not condoning that everyone go out and fulfill their fantasy with their best friend's wife. However, I am not put on this earth to judge and I don't. I am just saying that it is a huge adrenaline rush to have sex with someone you know you have no business having sex with. This is the reason he cannot find that with someone else. He isn't going to. He needs to find a different type of sex.  

Now Place...

I tease people and say that I have joined the mile high club.. solo division <wink wink> and one thing I would love to cross off my bucket list. Sex while skydiving... On a scaffolding high above the street or any other dangerous place I can think of would and can be extremely hot.

Now sex in a confessional at a catholic church... check 

#1 Passionate Sex

I won't be placing any gifs or pictures up for this one. There is nothing that I could find that even comes close to this type of sex. This type of sex only comes from being in love with someone. It is a feeling... a connection... every time you have this type of sex with someone is like the first and only time. It is rare and true and the type of sex that fuels fairy tales.

When you are truly in love with your partner, the sex is passionate and both of you know what either of you like in bed. The sex is more loving and intimate, and if you indulge in acts like Tantric sex. It can be so passionate and orgasmic, you could actually burst into tears of passion.

While all the other six types are fun and a huge turn on, indulging in these every other day can be boring and soon you may even start to detest it. But on the other hand, the more you indulge in passionate sex with your own partner, the better the sex and the intimacy gets.

Well that about wraps it up this week.

MMMMM was it good for you? Let me know by commenting or emailing me at info@foryoursexformation.com Follow me on Twitter and Facebook Links to the right. 

Listen to my blog come to life every Sunday night with help from my friend Poppy at Blog Talk radio. Link at the top. Don't forget to the take the poll this week and if you would like a discount on those remote control bullets and butterflys let me know what you would like from my website and I will give you 10% off. 

Bedroom Tips - Missing something?! I think I found it!

If you have been together for a while, bedrooms can end up becoming quite boring and predictable. 

I have tried to give you something to work with and tips in previous blogs but if all that has not got the creative juices flowing I suppose I can put together some more ideas. If you really want to keep the excitement and anticipation alive, you need to create new experiences. I have always said and will to this day that seduction is a lost art. And in my opinion is really what is missing in intimacy between partners today. 

The first few weeks of a new relationship are always unique and exciting. And the only reason why it’s so fascinatingly exciting is because of the unpredictability in the relationship. Both of you are still learning about other, and every single thing both of you do together is an experience that’s unique.

Once you start getting comfortable with each other and share a lot of experiences with your partner things start to slow down in the uniqueness department. This doesn't mean it has to be boring. 

So todays blog we are going to talk about tips and trick to get those creative love juices flowing.

#1 Change of scenery 

When partners get in a rut, especially when you have others in the household and can not get your loving on in any room in the house try laying a blanket on the floor. Nothing is more annoying than trying to get sexy in bed and having "room" problems... "Honey, could you move over to your left a little bit your elbow is in my face". With the floor you have a nice solid area to move about and get your groove on. You can both roll around and your partner can place you where they want you without fear of falling off the bed. Place a few "out of range" lit candles and you have just become one Sexy Mutha F---SHUT YOUR MOUTH! 

#2 Set the mood
Since men are visual why not trying popping in a compromise other than just porn. Pop in your favorite seductive movie! My personal favorite is 9 1/2 weeks. If you have not seen this movie it has that literary piece of crap 50 Shades of Gray beat by millions of miles!!! But whatever you both find totally erotic pop it in. The key is for you both though. Play out scenes from the movie if you can. Insert your own names from the story line. 


#3 Mood Music

You have a favorite song? You know... one you hear and you just want to get up and start dancing all sexy n' stuff? You hear the lyrics and the beat sometimes the voice and start to get moist in the pants? Oh yeah baby right there. Whether it is Barry White, Erotic City, R & B, Alternative or who knows maybe even some country cue it up and get your groove back. It doesn't have to be all about Stella getting her groove back either, Stan can too. Make a mixed playlist of all your favorites and get busy!

#4 Tired of Oral? Try Rubbing!

Grab the tarp and the baby oil because we are gonna get messy. Noooo you don't have to do all of that. Erotic Massage does not have to be all that messy and frankly being a professional Masseuse is not required either. The reason Masseuse use oil is because the aromatic effect which is nice to use for that purpose but I'm a practical type of girl and I don't want my sheets all stained up from oil so why not try using a water based lube. It works just as well and doesn't leave stains. Get your partner in the mood especially her. The more relaxed you make her the quicker she is going to release. 


#5 Babes in toy land!

I've said it before and I will till I die. Every bedroom need 5 staple products Heightener, Lube, Sex toy for her, Sex toy for partners and Toy Cleaner. We all like to be happy and release during sex. Toys can and should be a part of every bedroom as a great option. Whether you use it in your erotic massage session or use it on him during a mouth hug or her to get her off any of these scenrios plus many more area all great reasons to have them "handy" and on hand. 
Don't have any? You can always ask my advice through email and I can even get a discount on my website where I sell all the finest and most sought after toys and products on the market <<I know shameless plug.. but HEY IT'S MY BLOG!


#6 Lingerie
I know this is not really a topic for men. That is of course unless they want to dress up as well. Some do. Silk feels mighty pretty on any part of your body. But what I am talking about is ladies. Ladies, lets dish. Thigh highs and garters, corsets and heels... No matter what your size ALWAYS looks sexy! And guess what? You feel sexy as well! And if you look Marvelous you feeeeel Marvelous.


#7 Say Cheese!

The wonderful thing about smart phones these days is they have video and cameras on them! Take a few pics or videos of yourself and send them to your partner throughout the day. Or better yet take pictures or video when you're together. There is a naughty type of taboo element to it not to mention it is just plain hot!


#8 Switch!!!
Tired of the old routine? Why not switch it up a bit. Is your partner usually the dominate one? Why not tie your partner up and blindfold them. Not sure what to do? First and foremost "safety" first. Meaning a safety word or gesture.. something totally rando like "blueberry pancake" <inside joke. Try a little spanking and biting. Dirty talk while your doing it... not sure how to start? Just say what you're doing? Ask if they like it. "MMM I'm going to nibble on the nipple... you like that?" Use a feather or lightly touch them. While being blindfolded that is going to heighten their sense of touch a bit. 






#9 Snack time
Grab some strawberries and melted chocolate or better yet get yourself some edible body paint. Go to town on each other! The best part? Licking it off! Make a game of it! Make body sundaes heck who cares. Sex and food should go hand and hand... it is the wonderful world of taste and some sexy licking should go along with it. 



#10 Splish Splash
After some sexy snack time why not jump in the shower together and play out a sexy shower fantasy. Clean each other and grab the silicone based lube and have some awesome shower sex.  

I hope some of these ideas have helped spark some things in your mind. In the meantime take the poll on the side and visit my website. Remember blog readers let me know what it is what you would like to purchase and I will give you 10% off your order. 

MMMMMMM was it good for you? Let me know your feedback here under comments or email me at info@foryoursexformation.com and don't forget to listen to my radio show tonight on blog talk radio at 9:00 pm est.